The Hoedown on Breastfeeding

Okay, this subject is really something. Boy do I have tons to say abt it!

Why do I talk abt it only now? Coz I have been at it for the past 4 months plus and I have defied every “logic” known to the older generation. I think I have earned the right to put wrong everything that IS wrong and save the rest of the ladies who are abt to face what I faced. I hope through my blogs on newmomexpress, other new moms who may be facing what I too faced get solutions and consolation.

You see, I’m one of those really petite, cute looking (some say gorgeous, haha!) lady that proudly defies the laws of gravity (if you get my point ;P)

When you are pregnant, one of those conversations that inadvertently pops up is “Are you planning to breastfeed?” A somewhat innocent question with a less than innocent look to the un-endowed section of my chest.

“Yes”, I say proudly.

“I don’t think you’ll have enough”, was one reply I got from a very senior and important member of my household, eyes resting but just a second on the subject of conversation.

Ok, I think to myself. Never mind. Different generation. Different mindset. Different info. Little do people know that I had been at that time, extensively researching on breast feeding, what works and what doesn’t.

Never in my life did I imagine that breastfeeding is as contentious a topic as religion! I told myself that the only way I can know for sure who has the right info is when my baby grows well and good with only breast milk for food.

So out my baby came on Feb 3, 2006 and hence started my journey. But first, I must say a big thanks to Mt Alvernia hospital nurses for being so encouraging on breastfeeding. The help given by the lactation specialist was so reassuring. She was the first one to tell me that my feeding machinery was doing good in its production despite the many concerned looks and questions I got abt the supply.

Let me share this with you:

Fact No.1 :Breast milk is made from the simple demand and supply concept.

Milk doesn’t just come in on the first day for everyone, esp first time moms. That’s why you need to have the baby suckle on demand and not interfere with the natural process by supplementing it with other milk or water.

Fact No.2: Babies don’t need milk for survival during the first few days of life.

In fact, they have enough reserves to last them for 1 week. So relax, our bodies have more than enough time to respond to baby. Nature’s way of preserving life.

For my baby, coz she was slightly jaundiced, I decided with doc’s advice to supplement her with 1 oz of glucose water until her jaundice cleared. Thank goodness that was only for 2 days….didn’t interfere much with dd and ss.

But back at home, another saga continued.

“Her stomach so flat, not enough milk for her.”
“ She’s hungry again, your milk not enough.”
“Better supplement with other milk”
“Got enough milk or not? You better supplement for baby’s sake.”
“You not engorged? That means not enough milk. Better supplement.”
“ What? So little milk expressed?!”
(As I am writing this, my eyes are rolling and my head is shaking)

Imagine hearing this every day, almost endless within a day itself. Whether or not I was really inefficient or not, it almost drove me crazy! So off I trotted to Mt Alvernia again, 1 week after birth, for a checkup and to seek advice from the experts. Good news was that she was gaining weight and producing 8-10 wet nappies a day (ie she's getting enough milk out of me) but feeding her was hurting, very painful and she was hungry every hour…what was I doing wrong?

Thanks to Sister Kwan at the hospital, she refined the latch on technique and voila! Pain free! Now Sarah could go 2 hours before the next feed. I also found out that jaundiced babies were sleepier than usual so that explains the hourly feeding needed past midnight. Sarah would doze off before finishing her feed, only to wake up an hour later due to hunger. For visuals on proper latch-on, please visit Dr Newman's website http://www.drjacknewman.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=18&Itemid=42

Kudos to my understanding husband too who would fend off these negative comments for me. Seriously speaking, post partum depression for me would have started from these comments if not for my husband’s support. Thanks dear!

I know the older generations are trying to be helpful and I appreciate that they are only showing concern in the only way they know how based on what they have seen and heard in the past.

My advice is really, dads must come in to stand by your wives. Comments like this don’t help the poor recuperating mother. Read up, be knowledgeable. Only then can you insist on the way and be respected for it. You have to know what you are talking about. I had to accept that the older generation was not educated in breastfeeding (heck many didn’t breastfeed to start or were successful in it for various reasons), thanks to many factors, one being the doctrine set in place by formula producing companies.

Even one of my best friends (in her late 30s) who successfully breastfed her 2 kids exclaimed “Wow, I’m impressed that you have so much milk for one so small-sized!” That’s when I realized that perhaps I should start sharing what I know and have learnt to all men and women around.

Now, the hottest new theory by the older folks is that I have longer human teats than other people that’s why I am more successful in feeding. Sigh! As much as I would like to avoid this topic on size, I hereby declare that my size is no larger or longer than anybody else’s! The good thing abt human teats is that it is very durable and flexible like plasticine. It can fit and shape according to the way the baby sucks. That’s why proper latch on is important if not you look like the African moms.

Another theory by a cousin is that skinny people have more milk as she has a skinny colleague who could breastfeed well. This really made me laugh. :) Amazing, the kind of conclusions people make from their observations.

Recently, a friend gave birth to her first child at a well known hospital in Singapore. The nurse told her that her milk was not enough (commented just within 2 days) and had to supplement with formula milk. What I would give to knock this nurse on her bloody head! It is because of un-informed people like this that deprives babies of the ideal food on earth! It is because of un-informed people like that that makes mothers feel inadequate, insecure and give up feeding. That being said, it is also the responsibility of the mother to DO YOUR HOMEWORK and decide what’s best for your baby.

As what I predicted, my friend couldn't continue with breastfeeding just a week into it as she says she didn't produce enough milk. Please remember the universal Fact No.1 supply and demand. If you are determined to breastfeed your baby, remember Fact No.1 and Fact No.2.

My cousin, who successfully breastfed her 2 children shared her story with me:
Her second child was not able to latch on and suck properly. From the improper latch resulted bleeding and cracked nipples. The baby kept crying as he couldn't get milk out. So determined she was to breastfeed and armed with the 2 Facts, she soldiered on with the pain and the crying. It was only at the end of 1 week did the baby finally learn how to latch on properly and start feeding. I salute her.

Perhaps the stubborn streak runs in my family. Perhaps we are just better informed. I believe the mindset is the most important. If you truly want to, you'll find the resources to assist you. Both my cousin and I were so determined to breastfeed our babies for their health's sake that we would do anything to ensure success.

You'd be surprised at the info available now on the internet alone. Gone are the days where information is limited and we could only believe what our doctors told us. If our mothers only knew what we know now, I'm sure they would breastfeed too.

I'll be honest, the choice to stubbornly hold on to breastfeeding came sacrifices. Firstly, everything evolved around her feeding schedule which was 2 hrs at the beginning and now 3hrs. So I could be off abt my business but had to be back within a 2-3hr window period or all hell would break loose at home. :)D .

As I could not master the art of pumping (which resulted in pink milk appearing by the end of a few attempts), I resorted to hand pumping when I needed to be away for longer hours. For those who have tried, you would know how tiring it is and how time consuming it is.

Breastfeeding in public would be okay if you were in locations that had feeding facilities for mothers. For that I would say that Singapore scores well in this aspect. Try that in Malaysia where there are no such feeding facilities in the shopping malls and even the few that have are so old, unkept and lack privacy. With breastfeeding goes your privacy out the window. You have to develop a thick skin to want to feed your baby anytime and anywhere. When hunger strikes, there's no stopping your baby especially if you have adopted the attachment parenting style instead of the cry-it out style.

I decided early on that I would walk the tough road; take the good with the bad; live with the sacrifices for the sake of Sarah. So apart from natural birthing and non-medication for my baby for her health’s sake, I hereby declare that I will endeavour to breastfeed as long as I can until Sarah is weaned onto solids.

As at now, my baby is approaching 18 weeks old and weighs slightly more than 5.6kg. Solely on breastmilk, thank you very much.

If I can breastfeed, so can you! Haha!